HOLLYWOOD USA

 

                                    Female Buddy-Buddy Romantic Comedy                                   Story and Script by Barbara Glasser

 

 

When ROLAND PORTERFIELD is assigned to find out why the Income Reallocation Office in downtown LA, run by the vivacious CORINNA HUDSON and her best friend WILHEMINA (WILLI) VAN DOREN, has the best statistics     in the nation for return to self-sufficiency  and always runs on budget,

                   business as unusual is challenged in more ways than one.                        A movie that dares to asks the question:

When is wrong right?

 

 

SYNOPSIS / TREATMENT

 

1963.  Downtown L.A.

 

OVER OPENING CREDITS:  CORINNA HUDSON (vivacious force of nature, think KERRY WASHINGTON, or QUEEN LATIFA) slouches in the passenger seat of a 1957 black Cadillac hearse parked in front of the SECURITY PACIFIC BANK; half hiding, half casing the joint.

 

WILHEMINA VAN DOREN (WILLI, or DUZER to her friends) of indeterminate age (think SANDRA BULLOCK), usually wears an old tan raincoat (in all seasons--which she never takes off), sensible shoes, and her hair in a Buster Brown page-boy cut short.  At this moment, Willi has transformed herself into DAVIS MILES, faded jazz musician wearing a soiled engineer’s cap pulled down low, dark sun-glasses, saggy jeans, a degenerate sports jacket and a pasted-on “soul patch.”  Her actual identity is so completely camouflaged that not even her own mother would recognize her.

 

Walking toward the bank like an aging hipster, Davis bops to the music of his own sound track.  Two ELEGANT MATRONS give him a scornful look as they cross his path.

 

INSIDE THE BANK, Willi, as Davis Miles, by-passes people waiting in line and stands before his/her favorite teller, while the people in line grumble in protest.

 

Two policemen drive up alongside the Cadillac hearse and tell Corinna that she will get a ticket if she doesn’t move her car from the NO STANDING zone.  Corinna walks seductively over to the driver’s side and banters with the two policemen until Davis Miles bops over to the hearse, orders: “Get in the car, woman,” and peels off, leaving the two policemen totally baffled.

​

Willi, as Davis Miles, hands Corinna a handful of cash which Corinna methodically puts into an accordion folder.  Then Corinna’s fingers walk through an accordion folder until she comes to a file marked EMILY SHERWOOD: “Next stop, BEST WESTERN.”

 

END OPENING CREDITS

 

AERIAL SHOT OF EARTH from OUTER SPACE.

 

Camera closes in on the USA.

Then closer in on California.  And down the coast, passing gated homes in Hancock Park with their tennis courts, swimming pools, cabanas, and guest houses; past eclectic Beverly Hills mansions; Malibu beach homes perilously perched on cliffs overlooking the Pacific; past the “Hollywood” sign in the Hollywood Hills; over to the movie studio back lots with their false-front sets.

 

EXT. FREEWAY MORNING:  The 1957 black Cadillac hearse zig-zags from lane to lane, passing cars with precise abandon.  The driver:  fierce, loyal, lovable Willi Van Doren, wearing her ubiquitous tan raincoat.   Willi veers off the Freeway into a quiet Hollywood neighborhood of modest bungalows.  She slows to a crawl, passing a turquoise and white two-door Pontiac with the license plate: NOBODY.

 

Willi drives onto the lawn of a small graying cottage that hasn’t seen a paintbrush since it was built in 1944.  MEXICAN  MUSIC  blasts from a white Mazda next door being worked on by six young men who, when they see Willi get out of her hearse, begin calling obscenities and innuendoes in colloquial Spanish.

 

Willi ignores them completely and lets herself into the house with a key, where she observes remnants of last night’s party.  She tries to rouse Corinna who is lying next to her “current husband,” GUY DEVEREAUX, buff 29 yr. old “photographer.” When Corinna asks Guy to tell Willi to go away, he hides under his pillow.  Five days a week, Willi picks Corinna up for work.  Corinna doesn’t drive.

 

“What do you want to wear today,” Willi asks, going through Corinna’s closet. “Something beige.”  “You don’t own anything beige.”

Guiding the barefoot Corinna in her ratty baby blue bathrobe, towards the hearse, Willi and Corinna ignore the neighbor’s cat-calls, the blasting music and glaring sun.

 

CUT TO: WASHINGTON, D.C.  The office of the head of Health, Education and Welfare,  SHASHONNA DALALAH (based on Donna Shalala), (think LINDA HUNT): Shashonna Dalalah has discovered that the five-person Office of Income Reallocation  in downtown L.A. has the best statistics in the nation for client return to self-sufficiency, and always runs on budge.  She is determined to find out what this office is doing that is so special.  She has summoned (all the way from L.A.), BYRON JONAS (think GLYNN TURMAN), District Supervisor of The Office of Income Reallocation, to introduce Byron to her favorite nephew, ROLAND PORTERFIELD.   Although Roland is recovering from a breakdown brought on by disappointment in love, Dalalah is sure that Roland is perfect for the assignment. He will have access to every aspect of the office, under the guise of time-management consultant.  If the methods in the Office of Income Reallocation can be duplicated, it could save the nation billions—maybe trillions.

 

The Office of Income Reallocation is run by Corinna Hudson, with the help of her best friend, Willi.  Corinna signed on with the Department with the impetus to do good, knowing first-hand what it was like to do without.  Born out-of-wedlock to a 17-year old mother, Corinna was raised in Las Vegas and L.A. by a couple of run-away best friends, who insisted that Corinna go to college—with the illusion that that would make everything okay.

 

Wilhemina Van Doren,  a child of privilege,  feels  more  keenly than most what it is like to be a “have” in a world of  “have-nots”.  Raised by servants, she identified with the staff.   Her self-absorbed parents left her with a life-time of insecurities. Only helping others makes her feel whole.  So she started working at the Office of Income Reallocation in downtown L.A.-- two weeks after Corinna.

     

Case workers in the office:  the often overwhelmed EMANUEL COCO (think DANNY DeVITO), retired postal worker, joined the staff because he wanted to “work with people”; IDA MAE WATSON, a grandmotherly social worker who had been around since before Methuselah and admires Corinna and Willi without reservation; BRENDA HAWKINS, whose hostility toward Corinna is as palpable as it is unrelenting.

 

The day Roland Porterfield arrives, escorted by Corinna’s District Supervisor, Byron Jonas, the following is occurring in the office:

 

At Coco’s desk: a tall, lean elegant Afro-American transsexual, ANDRE WILLIAMS, is trying to explain why he needs “this operation.”  Coco is looking through a tattered loose-leaf notebook of Rules and Regulations;

Belinda Watson listens as MRS. MARINA MARTINEZ,  a woman in her forties tries to explain something in Spanish, a language Belinda does not understand;

Ida Mae Watson, her desk a masterpiece of disarray, is interviewing an elderly oriental gentleman, KIM BAO HAHN.  She shouts across the office, “Hey, Willi, you got my Vietnamese-English dictionary?”

 

Willi escorts Mrs. Martinez into Corinna’s office (which is surprisingly neat and organized, if a little over-stocked with plants which have a greenhouse effect on anyone who steps inside).  Willi translates for Corinna: even though the woman’s daughter is getting married, her benefits should not go down because the daughter’s husband will be moving in with them, and he does not have a job.

 

Corinna understands the problem at once: “Willi, please have Ms. Watson increase Mrs. Martinez’ benefits by one adult,” then she asks the woman what kind of wedding her daughter is planning.  When Willi translates that they will be going to City Hall because they don’t have any money for a wedding,   Corinna starts taking cash out of her lower left-hand drawer as she designs their wedding on the spot. With each suggestion, Corinna adds more cash.   “She should have bridesmaids, and an orchestra.  This may be the only time she will ever get married!  And lots of flowers.  Lilacs.  I like a lavender wedding myself.  Bridesmaids in plum.  And food.  It should be a feast.  Some champagne.  Not too much.  You don’t want people to get sick.” As  the  startled  woman thanks her,  Corinna reaches into a large cardboard box under her desk.  She hands the woman a copy of “Think and Grow Rich”: “My wedding gift! The happy couple should read a chapter together every night and achieve the prosperity they so richly deserve!”

 

As Willi turns to leave, she gives Corinna a look of parental indulgence.

“A nice day’s work!” Corinna crows.  “Let’s clear out the office early!  I bet we can make it to the track by the second race.”

 

Willi announces to the waiting clients that the office is closing early, as Corinna hands out copies of “Think and Grow Rich,” and a five-dollar bill.  “If you still need us, after reading this book,” Corinna announces, “Please come back … ”

 

Corinna continues speaking to everyone and no one in particular:  “The first thing you have to do is to give up your fear of success.  It’s okay for everyone to succeed! There are an infinite number of pies--not just one pie with a limited number of pieces.  Remember that:  an infinite number of pies!”

 

Meanwhile, Willi senses a problem at Coco’s desk, where Andre Williams is refusing to leave without authorization for his “operation.”  Willi alerts Corinna.

 

Escorting Andre into her office, Corinna listens to his impassioned plea.   As much to herself as to Andre: “It would be nice to have such conviction.  I just sort of float along.” Andre continues: “I know what I want and why I want it.  I’ve never had a moment’s doubt in my life.  Pain, yes.  Doubt, no.  And finally, you’re the one... You’re the one who can make me everything I’m meant to be.”

​

Corinna begins taking money from her deep left-hand desk drawer:    “Don’t forget, not for one moment, that you are the one who is making this happen.  I am merely a conduit through which these funds are able to flow...”

 

At this point Willi comes barging into Corinna’s office.  She stashes the carton of books under Corinna’s desk and throws the five-dollar bills into the open desk drawer out of which Corinna has been taking money.

“Jonas is here!” Willi hisses in a stage whisper.  “And he’s got someone with him!”

Corinna stops counting and puts a fistful of bills into an interoffice envelope which she then graciously hands to Mr., soon to be Ms. Williams: “Here, this should help.  Do you have friends who can be with you afterwards...”

“Don’t you worry about a thing darlin’.   I’ll be just fine.  I’m gonna name my first daughter after you.”

“Now, you come by and visit.  I want to see how you’re doing.  Hear!”

By now Willie’s anxiety had peaked: “Maybe you two would like to have a spot of tea.”

 

With assurance and grace, Byron Jonas glides through the hordes of people streaming out of the building.  Roland Porterfield, a fish out of water, is doing his best to maintain.   Andre Williams and Byron Jonas cross paths in the main lobby, bowing with balletic politeness as they passed each other.  Porterfield looks with alarm at the people surrounding him.

 

Corinna exits her office to meet Byron in the main office. They embrace and she greets him warmly:  “What makes me the lucky one today?”

At this, Byron turns to Roland: “I told you she was wonderful.”

 

It is clear that Roland is instantly smitten.

 

Byron assumes the office is emptying out because of an impending Staff Meeting which Byron suggests Roland attend.  Despite Corinna’s resistance to Roland’s assignment in her office, Corinna doesn’t seem to have much choice in the matter. After a mock “Staff Meeting”   in which the tensions and frustrations of the participants are barely concealed, Roland mentions that Byron has left him stranded. Willi offers to take Roland (along with Corinna) back to the Hollywood Arms Hotel and Apartments (HAHA), where he is temporarily staying.

 

Willi gives Roland a ride through the streets of downtown L.A. that he will not soon forget, barely missing a pedestrian and running a red light.  Roland thanks Willi and Corinna, confirming their meeting for “tomorrow morning.”  As Willi drives away, Roland meets, LaMEDIA LaTOUR, (think JENNIFER COOLIDGE) statuesque blond ex-starlet, walking her six miniature poodles, outside the HAHA.

​

Willi and Corinna make it to Santa Anita by the seventh, where Corinna asks Willi to “put an Andrew Jackson” on “Satin Doll,” to win, while she goes to find, “Ma.”

“You know, you’re not helping her.  You’re probably making things worse.”

“Just ‘til she gets on her feet...”

Three years ago Corinna’s mother, CANDY HUDSON, came to a complete halt--victim of a major mid-life crisis and a bad romance.  Quickly their roles reversed; daughter became caretaker of the mother.

 

When Corinna finds her mother and calls out, “Hi Mom!” her mother hisses, “I told you not to call me that!”  and in fact they do look like sisters.  A couple of touts pick up stubs from the ground near-by.

 

“How are you doin’, Candy?” Corinna asks more loudly.  

“I’m doin’ great!  Stop hassling me!  I’m doin’ great!”

“Whadja eat today?  You know you got to watch your sugar..”

“You’re starting to get on my nerves; doing anything here besides checking up on me?”

Corinna takes some bills out of an interoffice envelope and wordlessly gives them to her mother who wordlessly stuffs them in her pocketbook as if they were contraband.

“Willi says I’m not doing you any good by…”

“Tell Willi to change her underwear!”

“I’m not sure she’s wrong…  I don’t see you even trying…”

Her mother starts to break down and Corinna gives her a hug, “You’re gonna be fine, Ma!  I’ll see you later.  I’m going to find Willi…”

 

Corinna hears Willi before she finds her: Willi is cheering on “Satin Doll” as though her life itself depended on it!

 

Returning home, they find Corinna’s friend, MUFFY, a poor little rich girl with no self-esteem, sitting at the kitchen table.  Guy is photographing the pilot light on the stove.

Corinna ends the “party” early.  She has to think; she does her best thinking while asleep.  

 

ON SUNSET BOULEVARD:  Muffy, at a loss for something to do, tries to pick up a passer-by before two hookers chase her off their territory.

 

When Corinna and Willi arrive at the office the next morning, Roland asks if he can work in Corinna’s office.  At Coco’s desk, LaMedia LaTour, surrounded by her six miniature poodles.  She wants Coco to treat them as dependents.  Corinna leans over and whispers to Coco,   “Put her down for two (children),” before she announced that she and Willi will be out of the office for a while.  Coco asks if the office will be closing early, and Corinna shouts back, “No, we’ll be back in an hour.  Field work.”

“Are we going to let one little snoop put a stop to all our good work?” Corinna asks Willi.  “I think not!”

 

BANK OF CALIFORNIA: DAY – Willi has transformed herself into the elderly Scandinavian MRS. SVENSON.  With the help of her walker, “Mrs. Svenson” hobbles to the nearest bank teller without waiting in line.  People mutter in protest.

 

Next stop is WELLS FARGO, as ROMELIA SANTANA, gypsy mother with two infants in a stroller.

 

Corinna arranges cash into compartments of an accordion folder, and pulls out a check addressed to DEENA JANE PFEISSER.

 

After their successful bank runs, Corinna can’t go back to the office.  “Drop me off at home.  I’ll sleep on this and come up with something.  If anybody asks for me, just say I’m sick, or something...”

“You know I can’t lie.  I’ll say you’re at home, let them supply the explanation.  My grandfather used to say, ‘The best lie is the truth,’ that way you never have to remember anything.”

“Is this the same grandfather who said, ‘Rich or poor, it’s good to have money?’”  

“A wise man knows not to argue with a fool...”

 

Willi drops Corinna off at home then speeds to the office to be Corinna’s eyes and ears.

 

Corinna ignores Guy, curled up in the fetal position on the couch.   “I can’t get a show.  My life is going no place.”  Guy follows Corinna into the bedroom “I used to think being with you was everything...”

“It’s never more than part of it.  When you think it’s the whole thing it’s usually a ruse.  A Charlotte Russe...”

 

As Guy starts taking pictures of minute sections of the bedroom, Corinna fades into a dream involving every character, real and invented, that we have seen so far, a surreal panoply that ends with Corinna dancing with Roland and Byron in an open field above Sunset Boulevard.   Talking this as a sign, Corinna calls Byron and prevails upon him to meet her.  Wearing her most seductive black slip of a dress, Corinna waits for Byron in an ornate Italian restaurant, her fingernails freshly painted fire engine red.

 

Despite her best efforts, and they are significant, Corinna is unable to get Byron to call off Roland’s assignment:  “Byron, I never thought you were a pansy to the state before.  I thought you were your own person.”

                                                                                                                                      

“I am my own person, Corinna, and you know it.  I got two wives and five children between them, and I aim to support them the very best way I can.  This time-management thing is no big deal, and I don’t plan to let you make it one.”

 

Switching gears, Corinna tries another approach: “Uh, Byron, this is a little embarrassing for me.  I’m afraid there may be a few small inconsistencies in some of our files...down at the office.  I’m concerned about Roland finding them and uh, your...   being ... disappointed in me...”

 

“So that’s what this is all about.  Corinna, you’re human.  Everyone makes mistakes. You let Roland do his job.  You do your job.  Let me do my job and everything will be just fine.  Waiter, check please!”

 

Corinna slumps back in her seat, profoundly discouraged.

While Corinna is dining with Byron, Muffy and Guy have been spending time together.  When Corinna arrives home, she bumps into Muffy leaving the house. Too bummed to respond, she accepts Muffy’s explanation that she had been waiting for Corinna.

 

The next morning finds Corinna sitting at her desk, scowling at Roland who is peering at some forms: “There’s something here in one of Ms. Hawkins’ cases that I can’t figure out.”  “So go ask her about it.”

“I did, earlier, and she said that you handled the case and that I should ask you.”

“What seems to be the problem?”

“Well, a Mrs. Marina Martinez, age 47, had the number of her dependents increase.”

With deadpan blasé, Corinna replies, “So?”

“I mean, how could that be?”

“Listen Roland, your job is to review the cases--not analyze them--or are you planning on becoming a social worker in your spare time?

“Look, anything you say goes.  You’re the supervisor.  I was just wondering if this was  maybe a mistake...like it should say decrease instead of increase?”

“No mistake.  Increase is correct.  Each case is unique.”    “Fine.  No more questions, unless you’d like to explain how...”

As Corinna begins to explain wedding customs, Willi bursts into Corinna’s office with Stacy Adams, a natural redhead to whom life had not been kind.   Roland watches Corinna deal with Stacy Adams’ crisis: the “repossesses” man came and took all her furniture: “the television, the sofa, the rowing machine, everything… When Alfie gets home, he’s gonna kill me.”

 

Corinna and Willi both look at the deep left-hand drawer, but Roland is sitting right there.  Corinna asks Stacy if she has access to a truck, and writes down an address. “These are my keys.  Take a few things to tide you over…  .  And come back.  We can help you!”

Taking in the entire transaction, Roland says: “That was really very generous of you.”

 

Corinna: “I hope she comes back--maybe we can get her into a battered womens’shelter.”

“You just do this sort of thing every day?”

“Santa’s my name--good deeds  is my game.”

 

Just then, Mrs. Marina Martinez busts into Corinna’s office with an invitation to her daughter’s wedding.  “When is the wedding?”  “Tonight!”  It is agreed that Corinna, Willi and Roland will attend.

 

WEDDING HALL:  Salsa band playing loudly; people dancing; an open bar; the joy and excitement contagious.  Roland protectively and affectionately holds Corinna’s elbow.  This is the very moment she falls in love with him, but she tries to conceal these feelings even from herself.

 

Corinna, to Roland: “Do you dance?”  “A little…”  Corinna starts to gyrate gently to the music; Roland gamely, if somewhat stiffly, tries to follow.  Willi watches them from afar.

 

Next morning, sitting at Willi’s desk as though she were a client, Corinna: “You know, Duzer,” using her favorite nicknames for Willi, “Roland may not be so bad… I think maybe we’re gonna be able to work with him.”

“What makes you think so?”

“I think he’s got a pretty high C.Q..”

“He’s got to have more than a high Compassion Quotient to work with us.  He’s got to be able to do the buck and wing!”

“Let’s do some banking!”

“You do remember that what we are doing is illegal.”

“But I’m in such a good mood...”

“We could go shopping...”

 

PACIFIC NATIONAL BANK:  Willi has transformed herself, complete with enormous sun glasses, blond wig, and leg braces, into MRS. DAISY CARRINGTON.  Corinna, sitting in the passenger seat of the Cadillac hearse, pulls “Mrs. Daisy Carrington’s” check out of the accordion folder.  “Mrs. Carrington” uses the revolving door of the Pacific National Bank with much difficulty and sidles up to a teller without waiting her turn.  People in line grumble.  In thick southern accent “Mrs. Carrington” makes pleasantries with the teller and leaves with “all small bills.”

 

Next stop is SOUTHERN PACIFIC where Willi, as MRS. MABEL LEE, elderly Chinese woman, in a wheelchair, rolls up to a specific male teller, without waiting in line, much to the annoyance of the other customers, and begins flirting with the teller.

​

Corinna spots a florist and asks Willi to pull over.  Corinna emerges from the florist with an elaborate terrarium and notices DOLLY’S, a dress shop across a very wide street.  Willi makes a U-turn and parks in front of Dolly’s.

“I’m in the mood for something mauve.  Maybe you want to look, too.   Maybe you’ll see something you like.”

“I’ve got all the clothes I need.”

 

Back at the office, as Corinna extends the terrarium to Roland, she noticed a large planter of flowering cactuses in the center of her desk: “Oh, they’re crazy!  I love cactuses.  How did you know?”

 

Roland accepts his gift and answers: “They made me think of you.”  Then, looking at the terrarium he adds: “I don’t think anyone has ever given anything like this before...”

Their eyes meet in an awkward vulnerable silence.

“Maybe we could have lunch,” Corinna suggests.

“I would like that very much.”

 

Corinna approaches Coco trying to help MRS. ROXANNE JEFFERSON, a young African-American woman with two young children.  Corinna leans over his desk and examines his paperwork: “How’s it going, Coco?”

 

“Okay, I guess but I’m worried about this Roland Porterfield fellow.”

“We’re not going to let him cramp our style!  It’s all under control.”  Then she turns to Coco’s client: “First time here, Mrs. Jefferson?”

Mrs. Jefferson nods self-deprecatingly.

“There’s no need to feel that way, Mrs. Jefferson.   You’ve got to take care of yourself and your family.  It’s our job to see that you’re healthy and happy.”

She asks Coco if he had allocated shoes.  “Shoes?” asks Coco.  “Orthopedic shoes;” and then to Mrs. Jefferson, “Always buy good shoes.  And two pair.  That way they last longer--and it’s better for their feet.”

Mrs. Jefferson is confused at first but she starts to catch on: “I hate to keep them in sneakers all the time.”

“Coco, do you have them down for a restaurant allocation?”

“But they have a kitchen...”

Then Corinna speaks to both Coco and Mrs. Jefferson: “Everybody’s got to have money for restaurants.  I believe in eating out--once a week.  Make that twice a week--once: eat-in; once:  take out.  Good for the spirit; good for the soul.  You want your children to feel comfortable in restaurants--know how to behave.  Why half the business deals in this country are done in restaurants.  Kids have to know what it’s all about.  Come back in a few months, Mrs. Jefferson.  I believe in vacations, too.”

“How do you allocate vacations?” Coco asks quietly.

“She’s got two children, right?”

Coco nods.

“You put her down for three and give her extra pre- and post-natal allotments, that way she can take the kids to Disneyland and they’ll see that they’re not missing anything!.  Nothing worse that feeling trapped.  We’ve got to be creative, Coco!  Got to make the system work.”

 

With a flip of her skirt, Corinna leaves Coco’s area and stops at Ida Mae Watson’s desk where Mr. Kim Bao Hahn, the elderly Vietnamese gentleman, has returned.

“How’s it goin’, Ida Mae?”

Holding her Vietnamese-English dictionary, she speaks very quietly to Corinna: “Best I can get is he’s got four daughters and six grandchildren.  Technically, the daughters are not eligible because they’re over-age and should apply in person.  Best I can get out of him is...they’re ashamed.”

 

Corinna thinks for a moment then says: “With the federal government giving subsidies to tobacco plantations, why don’t you put him down as a widower ...with ...ten children.  If we hadn’t bombed their country to smithereens...they wouldn’t even be here now.”  Ida Mae: “I’m gonna give them the works--orthopedic shoes, braces...I’m gonna give him a three-month check... retroactive.”

Corinna pats Ida Mae on the shoulder: “And there’s always the fire hardship...”

Ida Mae raises her eyebrow knowingly: “Maybe he can use the bundle to turn his life around.”  “I like your style, Ida Mae!”

 

Corinna and Roland share a quiet lunch where Corinna learns more about Roland, and is taken with his vulnerable openness.  He wants to know more about her.  “That will have to wait until dinner!”  “Tonight?”  “Are you available?”  Roland smiles.

 

CORINNA takes a taxi to Muffy’s house, where the houses get larger and larger and foliage more lush and well-kempt.  The taxi driver asks Corinna if she is in show business.  “I could give you my head shot…”  Corinna hands him her card: “Department of Social Services – Office of Income Reallocation”.  “You got cases out here?”

 

“Here we are!”  Corinna is greeted at Muffy’s front door front door by CASSILDA CASTENADAS, middle-aged woman in a uniform.  Cassilda tells Corinna that her cousin, “Martiza Morales is doing so much better since she came to see you.  She’s coming to see you again…”  Cassilda tries to detain Corinna from finding Muffy, in the guest house.  Corinna wends her way past Muffy’s father, MIKE JACKSON, wearing a skimpy black bathing suit, sitting by the pool next to an active ticker-tape machine,

As Corinna approaches the guest house, we hear Muffy and Alfie laughing.  They are “fooling around.”

 

When Corinna shouts,” “Anybody home?” the laughing stops abruptly.  “Is that you,

​

Corinna,” Muffy asks.  “No, it’s Santa Claus.”  Guy:  “Aren’t you supposed to be at

work?”  “I’m the boss!  I can leave anytime I want.  Can I come in?”  Guy, his torso bare, zipping up his pants, “We were doing some photography experiments…” Corinna chooses to ignore the obvious.  Corinna has come to confide in Muffy about her conflicted feelings for Roland.  Muffy’s advice about Corinna’s feelings: “just take one day at a time, as my mother would say…” When Corinna asks if she can “borrow  something for tonight,”  a tour of Muffy’s mother’s capacious dressing room turns up the perfect dress, and Muffy’s mother will never know “because she’s at a fat farm in Texas for the next two weeks…”  

 

Corinna and Roland dine at an ornate Thai restaurant, decorated with museum-quality pieces.  They grow closer, which is not easy for Corinna.  She asks Roland to drop her at her mother’s rather than drive her home.

 

Corinna’s mother lives in a quirky apartment building, built by Rudolph Valentino in the early 1920’s.  Candy Hudson, and her best friend, SALLY, with whom Candy basically raised Corinna, have been entertaining the two race-track touts we met earlier.  The two gentlemen leave the building as Corinna approaches.  When Corinna knocks on her mother’s door, Candy thinks one of them has returned: “What’s a matter, you forgot something?”

 

Meanwhile, Stacy Adams, and her abusive boyfriend ALFIE have arrived at Corinna’s bungalow in a broken-down van.  No one answers Alfie’s knock because Guy and Muffy are in the throes of passion.  Alfie tries the door and it’s open.  He begins noisily removing furniture from the living room, continually being verbally abusive to Stacy.  When Guy eventually hears the ruckus, he emerges from the bedroom, wearing only a towel around his waist.  Stacy shows Guy the note from Corinna.  Alfie: “Let’s go. I think we got everything we need…”  

 

Roland offers to wait for Corinna, while she visits her mother, and then drive her home, but Corinna tells Roland,” I’ll see you tomorrow…”   Corinna’s attempt to talk about her conflicted emotions is a confluence of miscommunication and misunderstanding, as Candy and Sally try to figure out what Corinna is trying to say. Corinna walks home desolate,  through deserted streets, only to find her house cleaned out, except for the bedroom, and a note from Guy: “…Went to live with Muffy.  No hard feelings…”  Corinna scrunches up the paper and collapses on her bed.

 

Roland, propped up in bed in his room at the HAHA, is making a list of Corinna’s qualities, compared with his ex-girlfriend, Wendy.   The phone rings.  It is his Aunt Shashonna Dalalah, calling to see how he is doing.  Roland reassures her: “Fine, just fine, although this isn’t going to be as simple as you thought…”  “Well, stick with it, Roland.  I’m counting on you!”  Roland stiffens when Shashonna’s mentions his mother.

​

Roland can’t stay in his stifling room a moment longer.  He scrunches up the piece of paper on which he has been comparing Corinna to Wendy,  and goes downstairs to the lobby of the HAHA where La Media LaTour is about to being singing, “She Didn’t Say Yes, She Didn’t Say No” a Jerome Kern classic, for the assembled “regulars.”   Roland is visibly moved by LaMedia’s performance.  She thinks maybe he is an agent, and recovers quickly from her disappointment to find that he is not. She introduces him to her six “children”:  Fifi, Sunshine, Princess, Zazu, Regan, and Champ, my only son!”  Roland asks if she is going to sing again tonight.  “Only one song a night,” she announces.  “Come back tomorrow!”  Roland says good night to each dog by name.

 

EXTERIOR:  Corinna’s  Bungalow – Day.  Willi’s hearse screeches to a halt.  The neighbors begin their cat calls.  Willi walks toward them and begins speaking in perfect Spanish, asking about the car, and making suggestions about possible repair solutions.  The young men are amazed and totally impressed by her knowledge and bearing.

 

Willi walks into Corinna’s now bare living room and looks around.  She knocks on Corinna’s bedroom door.  “What happened to the furniture?” and not seeing Guy: “Where’s the munchkin?”   “Stacy Adams…” and then: “He’s gone to live with Muffy; I’m gonna miss him…I’m gonna miss her, too…”  Willi: “Look on the bright side: it’s a toss-up to see which of ‘em dies of boredom first…”

 

Corinna does not feel well, and Willi goes to CANTOR’S DELI to get Corinna some chicken soup: “For breakfast?”  “It couldn’t hurt.”  Willi double-parks in front of Cantor’s.  The counterman throws in some pickles:  “Corinna’s not pregnant.”  “It couldn’t hurt…”  People in front of Cantor’s are waiting impatiently for Willi to move her hearse, so they can move their cars.

 

When Willi returns with the chicken soup, Corinna announces that she cannot go into the office, but she instructs Willi to go in and find out what’s going on, and to come back at noon with some more provisions: her favorite ice cream, cookies, and maybe a pizza: “I don’t feel so good, but I’m ravenous…”

 

At the office, Roland is examining Coco’s files.  He comes across the file of LaMedia LaTour, with two dependents: “Fifi and Sunshine.”  When he confronts the trembling Coco: “Where are the other four?  Zazu, Regan, Princess and Champ?” Coco finally admits that it was Corinna’s idea.   Roland spins around to Willi’s desk and confronts her with his latest finding.  Willi: “Roland, Corinna has her own definition of Social Services  … I suggest that you just look the other way…”  “I’m not sure I can do that…”  Roland picks up the next file: “MRS. ROXANNE JEFFFERSON.”  He flips back and forth between “kitchen facilities,” and “restaurant allotment.”  He picks up the file and strides out of the office.  Willi asks him where he is going.  “Field work!”

​

Roland studies a map of L.A. and draws a map to Mrs. Jefferson’s address.  As he drives, the foliage changes.  He arrives at a low grey-brown apartment complex without a flower or a blade of grass.  People stare at Roland as he walks around, trying to read faded apartment numbers, persisting despite his growing discomfort.

 

When Roland finds out that Mrs. Jefferson  has a kitchen, Mrs. Jefferson sets Roland straight: “I think that woman down at the Center…knows what it’s like…  If you talk to her, you’ll learn a thing or two…    If you decide to come back, call first.  I’ll make you a nice home-cooked meal…”

 

Meanwhile, Willi has delivered the goodies that Corinna requested.  Corinna is an agony because she’s sure Roland will find out everything.  “And I think I really like him…”  Willi:  “I didn’t know that things were that bad.  What if there’s nothing to find out?”

 

FLASH BACK TO HOW IT ALL BEGAN THREE YEARS AGO:  Corinna, in her plant-filled office,  is studying the Racing Form, dated April 30, 1960.   Willi enters the office, brimming with anticipation.  Willi is holding an envelope stamped: RETURN TO SENDER.  Corinna continues to study the Racing Form.  “So a check came back.  You’ve got to expect that every once in a while…”

Willi: “You obviously do not see the implications of this envelope.”

“What is going on in that very fine mind of yours?”

Willi: “Not that we’d every do this but, if we created imaginary clients, with non-existent addresses, those checks would come back to this office, and if we opened bank accounts for those clients, we could cash those checks…

Corinna: “And finally run this place the way it’s supposed to be run.  We could actually make a difference in people’s lives.  Finally, we could make the rules!!!”

Willi: “You do realize that we’re talking about  major jail time…”

Corinna: “If we every got caught, if we explained that we only used that money to help our clients, do you think they would go easy on us?”

Willi: “I wouldn’t count on it!”

Corinna: “Oh, I’ve always loved dress-up!!!”

 

Although the two conspirators decide to think about the possibilities for a while, and do a trial run with an imaginary client, “all signs point to yes.”

 

RETURN TO THE PRESENT:  

 

Corinna and Willi decide to close out all of the bank accounts, which requires that Willi assume the identities of all of their “imaginary” clients.  As Willi and Corinna are closing out their accounts, Roland is trying to find the addresses of the clients that they are eliminating.  It seems inevitable that their paths will cross.

                                                                                              

As Willi and Corinna close out each account, Roland writes NO SUCH ADDRESS across each file that he tries to locate.

 

It is dusk by the time Willi and Corinna close out all of the accounts.

 

Roland returns to the HAHA, too upset to say “Hello,” to LaMedia LaTour, which confuses her, but she has her dogs to walk, and saunters on her way.

 

But, now Willi and Corinna have to close out the actual accounts, as well as their bank accounts.  They work feverishly through the night doing the necessary paperwork.

 

INTERIOR -   ROLAND’s ROOM at the HAHA:  Roland is propped up in bed with his legal pad of yellow paper, trying to figure out the extent of the nature of the “crime/s” he has just uncovered.  One column is headed “One Year,” the next “Three years,” then “Five Years,” and “Seven Years.”   He crumples up the paper and curls up in the fetal position in the middle of his bed.

 

Closing out the last account at dawn, the two old friends go to have breakfast at a  24 hr. diner.

Roland gets in his car and drives past the Department of Social Services, Office of Income Reallocation, slows down, then picks up speed and parks in front the FBI building while the sun comes up.

 

Willi drives Corinna home.  They are both surprised to see no neighbors working on cars, blaring music and calling them “names,” but it is only 6:30.

As Willi drives off, Corinna notices Roland asleep in his car, parked in front of her house.  Roland startles awake to the sight of Corinna’s nose pressed against his window.

 

When Roland follows Corinna into her house, he is stunned to find that her house is bare.  Corinna: “..just things…”  Roland follows Corinna into her bedroom.  She plops down on her bed: “Whew, am I exhausted.”  At first, Roland resists her invitation to sit on the bed, then he relents.   Roland is clearly conflicted between his sense of “right and wrong,” and his feelings for Corinna.

 

Corinna explains to Roland that the cases have disappeared, and no one knows about them.  “But I do,” he says, tormented.  “But nobody else does,” she explains.

 

FADE TO BLACK..  Up on:  Roland and Corinna undressed, under the covers, looking at each other with the softness of afterglow, wrapped in each other’s arms.

​

Roland, still tormented, now wonders if he could be considered an accessory to the “crime.”  Corinna: “You’re not still worried about this, are you?”  “I don’t know if this is a state offence, or a federal…”  “Oh, it’s federal: those are the best prisons.”  Roland has never been confronted by anything like this before in his life.  Corinna: “Stop trying to figure out what you should do, and focus on what you want to do.” “That’s easy, make love to you again.”  

 

Corinna proposes that they take a drive and not stop until something tells them to, but first she must say good-bye to her mother and to Willi.  Roland opines that it may be a long time before there is ever a complete audit of their office, maybe never.  He agrees and the two of them go off to return his rental car, and purchase something inconspicuous for their journey to wherever.

 

Corinna says a tearful goodbye to her mother; and more tearful goodbye to Willi.  

 

Roland and Corinna stop in a motel in Santa Barbara for the night, where each room has a different theme.  The next morning they continue on their drive, stopping at a town called MORGAN, UTAH.  “I once knew a man named “Morgan,” Corinna explains.  “Should I be jealous?” Roland asks.  “Absolutely.”

 

Morgan, Utah is a picture-perfect town, with majestic mountains for a backdrop and white picket fences in front of little white houses.  A sign in ”The Morgan Chronicle,” window: REPORTER WANTED.   Roland and Corinna stop to eat at the LUCKY THINK AND GROW RICH HEALTHY RESTAURANT – STORE, run by Mr. Kim Bao Hahn and his four enchanting daughters.  Corinna says nothing.

 

Roland is ecstatic.  He is sure he can get the job as reporter and looks through the paper for a place to rent.  Corinna has a flash forward of her life in Morgan, Utah. She leaves the restaurant.  “You keep the car.”  Roland is too stunned to speak. Within seconds he chases after her.

 

Corinna is walking toward the bus depot with her cactus plant in the crook of her arm.  Roland shouts out her name in anguish.  Their eyes meet.  Maybe they can make it together, maybe not in Morgan, Utah, but maybe somewhere, together.

 

The END, or MAYBE JUST THE BEGINNING